Matzah Balls and a Passover Earthquake

When I began dating a Rabbi’s kid in my early 20s, I was introduced to a lot of legalistic traditions that I knew nothing about. One of which was the concept of “kitniyot,” which is food that ‘might possibly’ come into contact with chametz (leavening) during the production process, therefore it is advised not to eat any of those foods (beans, corn, rice, corn syrup, corn starch) during Passover ‘just in case.’

To me, dating a Rabbi’s kid meant giving all these new legalistic traditions a chance, because I didn’t want them to think I wasn’t good enough or wasn’t Jewish enough. So I started observing Passover like this, and it was incredibly hard. This is exactly what Jesus is talking about in Luke 11:46, when He speaks out against all the added ‘laws’ in the Talmud that are not in The Bible.

In 2010, I was in year three or four of all of these extra rules for keeping Passover. I was living in San Diego and waiting tables at Red Robin. I loved working at Red Robin during Passover, because they will wrap any burger, chicken, or turkey sandwich in lettuce instead of giving you a bun. As the only Jewish server on staff, I was working a double shift on Easter Sunday; April 4, 2010. This meant I had a lunch break, and needed to decide what to eat. I really had a hankering for a teriyaki chicken burger, but I felt in my kishkes I should go look at the ingredients for the teriyaki sauce. Sure enough, it contained wheat.

At this point, I was really struggling with keeping Passover. We were around five days in, and I was just so over it. I decided…it’s wheat, but it’s in sauce, not bread. What could it hurt? I ordered it. Wrapped in lettuce. God would forgive me.

I took two bites, and, on the second bite, the less than sturdy bar stool I was sitting in started shaking. I looked behind me, and the wine glasses hanging from the ceiling were also shaking. All of the customers ran out the door. It was an earthquake. 7.2 on the Richter scale. 89 seconds long (you can look up the Easter Sunday Baja California earthquake from 4/4/10). I knew immediately God was trying to send me a message. I promised I would never break Passover again.

I still get frustrated with it, because I really like bread and bread like foods, but it is a lot easier without all the added non Biblical rules, like not eating Kitniyot, and not adding an extra day. People give me a hard time about being so strict with it, but I don’t like when God yells at me. Large earthquake or not.

On another note, I just realized today that matzah balls are not Kosher l’Pesach (Kosher for Passover).

Wheat is considered chametz when it has been in contact with water/liquid for 18 minutes or longer. When you make matzah balls, they’re being cooked in liquid for longer than that. Even if you’re using matzah or matzah meal that is certified Kosher l’Pesach, it then loses its certification when you repurpose it and it’s cooked in liquid.

This doesn’t just go for matzah balls, but matzah meal cake, etc. Funny that the same people that try to scold me for eating burrito bowls during Passover, repurpose matzah for everything and then make it not permitted for Passover, but think that’s acceptable.

I also want to take this moment to add that, as we are preparing for Passover, which begins next Sunday night, Hamas and its affiliates are working overtime to try to annihilate Israel. Please pray for them not to succeed, and for this to be a wake up call for everyone…Israel, Hamas, everyone else in the world that’s watching…to turn their hearts towards our Messiah Yeshua.

Psalm 3:

”O Lord, how my foes have increased! How many rise up against me! Many say of me, “God will not deliver him.” Selah But You, O Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, and the One who lifts my head. To the Lord I cry aloud, and He answers me from His holy mountain. Selah I lie down and sleep; I wake again, for the Lord sustains me. I will not fear the myriads set against me on every side. Arise, O Lord! Save me, O my God! Strike all my enemies on the jaw; break the teeth of the wicked. Salvation belongs to the Lord; may Your blessing be on Your people. Selah“
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Salvation belongs to The Lord.

What is the Opposite of a Chreaster?

As someone that hates Christmas and Easter with the fire of a thousand suns, I am especially irked this year, as whomever chose the date this year, didn’t even make an attempt to get close. Resurrection Day is the third day of Passover, which is around 3.5 weeks in the future, vs tomorrow’s Easter. Why? There’s a very specific date in The Bible. Why not follow that?

I also think it’s weird that it’s always on a Sunday, and then people say, “on this day…” That’s not actually how time works though. An anniversary can’t be on the same day of the week every year.

Jesus’ last supper was a Passover meal (Luke 22:15). For Jewish believers, we incorporate His death and resurrection into Passover, on the actual dates. And we don’t use dyed eggs and chocolate bunnies. There’s really no reason Easter should exist, and it certainly shouldn’t be more important than Passover.

Likewise with Christmas, another holiday that shouldn’t exist.

Both “holidays” are centered on customs and traditions that aren’t Biblical, but tried to be passed off as such.

We don’t know when Jesus was born, but it is highly unlikely it was in or near December.

Every Biblical holiday that God asks or commands us to celebrate has a very specific date attached to it in The Bible. The only sort of exception is Shavuot/Pentecost, but that says to count seven weeks from Passover (Deuteronomy 16:9), so there is technically a date, you just have to do some math to get to it.

But, because God was so specific about dates of holidays, and there is no date attached to Jesus’ birth, doesn’t that make you think that maybe there is a reason for that? I’m not saying His birth isn’t important; obviously it is. But if God wanted us to so celebrate it, there would be a date. And the command for celebration probably wouldn’t include greed and consumerism and trees and lights.

Also, if His birth is so important to the world that it needs to be worshipped, why do we only sing/play songs on the radio about His birth around Christmastime? We sing and play songs on the radio about His death and resurrection year round…

I’ll take my cardboard matzah over fun festivities any day, because at least I know I’m doing what God has asked, and not straying from/adding to The Word.

Do I Want to Go to Church?

I get asked this question a lot. The short answer is my heart’s desire is to be part of a congregation.

The long answer is I’ve pretty much lost hope on finding one where I won’t have to compromise any of my beliefs or morals.

In order for me to ever be happy in a congregation, it would have to be one that doesn’t tell me I don’t have to be Jewish, they have to follow the entire Bible and not cherry pick or pander to the world, it has to be a charismatic congregation that utilizes gifts of The Spirit (tongues, prophecy, etc), they definitely can’t be sweeping problems under the rug and excommunicating whistleblowers, they have to practice what they preach, and they have to care about Israel, and especially what’s happening there right now. To really make me happy, they should also be observing Biblical holidays and not observing worldly ones.

I don’t believe such a place exists.

The church I was attending most recently was on the right track, but they have too many cooks in the kitchen, and that’s where things start to fall apart.

I still struggle with not being in a Messianic Congregation, but I know they just don’t want to act right, and I can’t be part of that.

I don’t know everything God has planned for my future, but it is on my heart to start a home fellowship someday, but that will require a strong partner. I definitely can’t do this on my own.

But what’s on my heart is to host a ‘spiritual hospital,’ if you will.

This is what I want to stand for:

“Feeling betrayed by the world? Come have a conversation with others in the same boat, and learn about the God who loves you. All are welcome, including Jews, Gentiles, young, old, LGBTQ, BIPOC, addicts, orphans, widows, homeless, felons, sojourners, prostitutes, and tax collectors.”

I want to have worship, of course, and, maybe instead of a sermon, to run it like an AA meeting, where there’s a prompt, and then everyone gets x amount of time to speak on the topic. Kind of like a support group for just dealing with life, specifically church hurt/spiritual abuse. The way people treat you poorly is not a reflection of The Lord.

So, yes, I would love to be part of a religious community that’s on the same page as me, but that would require there to be a religious community that’s on the same page as me.

For now, God has me in an isolation season, and I can’t let people guilt me by telling me we’re supposed to be in community. Because I also don’t believe I’m supposed to settle for somewhere I’m not being spiritually fed or where they’re trying to control me. I can’t be tamed!

I’m Struggling with Chanukah

Well, this is awkward…what was previously my favorite holiday has become something I’m not even sure I should be celebrating anymore.

Last year, as I was helping someone host her first ever Chanukah party, I did what I’ve been doing with all the Jewish holidays, and I looked in The Bible to see exactly what it says, knowing many traditions (like gambling, eating food fried in oil, giving gifts for eight days, lighting the candles in a specific direction) were not going to be in it. Turns out, nothing is in it. Not the story of Chanukah, not the date, nothing.

Chanukah is only mentioned one time in The Bible at all, and all it says is it was Chanukah in Jerusalem and Jesus was there, walking around the temple. John 10:22-23.

People will say this is proof that Jesus celebrated Chanukah, therefore, we should too. But how? How is it proof? Where does it say that? How do you get that conclusion from Jesus being there during a certain time of year? And, even if Jesus did celebrate Chanukah…to what extent did He celebrate? Where does it say this?

To me, this is merely noting the time of year, and setting the scene. I’m not saying definitively that Jesus did not celebrate Chanukah, but I am saying I don’t know.

Since I’m trying to only celebrate holidays commanded in The Bible, this seems like one to eliminate, at least for now.

I had fully intended to do more research on the history of Chanukah and whether or not there is an accurate historical record of it happening, but this has been one of the craziest years of my life, and it’s just gotten away from me.

For now, what I’ve decided is that I believe with all my heart that God is capable of taking oil that should only last for one day and making it last for eight days. I’ve seen Him do this time and time again in my life, and I know He’s not done yet.

Because of this, I am comfortable continuing to place a menorah in my window to show the world that I believe this. Although, maybe not this year, since I’ll be moving in the middle of Chanukah, and all I have is an electric menorah. Not really in the mood to set it up for a couple days, take it down, and set it back up for a few more days, leaving neighbors in both places confused as to why I didn’t have it up the whole time.

So that’s where I’m at right now. Also, just one more time for the people in the back…Chanukah is NOT the Jewish equivalent to Christmas.

I Want to be Your Friend Until the Day You Leave My Church

I was all set to write this post when the war broke out in Israel, and it felt inappropriate to continue on with this. However, with the way so called “Christians” have acted over the last few weeks, perhaps it is not ill timed after all.

I am no stranger to running screaming from congregations. I go through them like water. My heart’s desire is to have a home congregation and just stay there forever, but that hasn’t been the case for me. Sometimes I wonder if I am getting back on the horse, or if I am just a glutton for punishment.

At this point in my life, I have given up hope on finding a congregational match, and, since I refuse to settle, I just don’t have any interest in searching for a congregation in my new city. God would have to be very specific about sending me to a new one. And I have too many moving pieces in my current life to be concerned about that.

Anyway, something I have noticed about every single congregation I have ever attended and left, whether it is a church or a Messianic Synagogue, is that the people you thought were your friends will cease being your friends the moment they find out you leave. AKA they were never really your friend to begin with. Because a friend loves at all times, and will be there for you in your time of need (Proverbs 17:17).

Instead, I have seen just the opposite. All of these people that call themselves believers turn their backs on you the second you leave the community, or perhaps as you are going through a struggle while you are part of the community, and they step away from you when you need them the most.

Why? How is this Biblical? How is this loving? How is this being like Jesus?

It makes zero sense to me.

And I’m not talking about people who are bad at keeping in touch. I’m one of those people, so I understand that. I’m speaking of people who just flat out stop answering your messages. Who walk away when they run into you somewhere. Who unfriend you on social media right when you leave.

The crazy thing is, sans actually having a serious fall out with leadership, it’s never the congregational/organizational leader that has treated me like this. They always continue speaking to me, because they want me to change my mind and come back. But it’s the congregants. And those leaders are shepherding a congregation of people who think it’s okay to treat those they were allegedly friends with like that. (Minus the congregations where the Rabbi had a meeting and specifically told everyone to not speak to you anymore).

And I’ve never seen a congregation that didn’t do this, and it still shocks me every single time.

“What do you think? If a certain man has a hundred sheep and one of them goes astray, won’t he leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go looking for the one that is straying? And if he finds it, amen I tell you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that didn’t stray. Even so, it’s not the will of your Father in heaven that one of these little ones should be lost.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭18‬:‭12‬-‭14‬ (repeated again in Luke 15).

If you stop speaking to someone because they left your congregation, or because they are struggling with something that makes you uncomfortable, you are not aligned with The Bible. You are not aligned with Jesus. You are not aligned with God’s heart. And you are certainly not a true friend.

The War in Israel: Open Your Aynayim

Slightly off topic for this blog, but, as a Jewish person, especially one that accepts Jesus as my Messiah, I feel I would be remiss to not post anything about this.

First and foremost, I am sad, I am heartbroken, I am ill. My people are being hunted, slaughtered, raped, kidnapped, and held hostage. And that’s just in Israel. That’s not including the gaslighting and emotional and verbal abuse, and physical attacks and murder that’s happening around the world. And everyone else remains silent. All of these Christians, etc, that have long since claimed to be pro Israel, have chosen to say nothing. Nothing at all. Just like during the Holocaust. And the silence is deafening.

And I feel so sorry for the Palestinian civilians that want nothing to do with Hamas. They are caught in the midst of all of this, they are losing their lives, their homes, their families. And they’re being completely abandoned by any and every human who can help them.

It is just terrible all the way around. Nobody is winning right now. Nobody.

I have a lot of thoughts, and I’m not going to say them all here. I’m overwhelmed, but I do want to say a few things. And the first is obviously to condemn Hamas and everything they’re doing and stand for. Israel did not deserve these attacks.

A lot of people are saying the way Israel is responding, by bombing Gaza, shutting off the water, electricity, etc is wrong. So the question is what’s the answer then? Are they to do nothing and leave themselves open for more attacks?

Here’s my perspective…

There are three types of people in the world:

1) People who follow God and His rules.

2) People who don’t care to follow God and His rules, but will follow man made rules. This is the majority of people in the world.

3) People who don’t care to follow any rules. These people will ultimately wind up dead or in prison. (And, just because someone is incarcerated, does not mean it’s over for them. God can and does use people in prison!!)

We can’t expect those in groups 2 and 3 to be held to the same standards as those in group 1. Right now, nobody on either side of the war at hand is part of group 1. And the reason I say that, is because God has very specific rules for conflicts.

•Love your neighbor as yourself. Matthew 22:39/Mark 12:31

•Love your enemies. Bless those who curse you, and pray for those who mistreat you. Luke 6:27-28.

•If you have a problem with someone, speak to them about it privately. If they don’t listen, bring one or two more people with you to speak to them again. If they still don’t listen, tell the community. If they still don’t listen, cut them off. Matthew 18:15-17.

•Give your peace to those around you. If they refuse to accept your peace, leave and shake the dust from your feet. Matthew 10:11-15.

Nobody involved in the war is following this. Now, I’m not saying Israel is wrong. Again, we can’t expect people not fully surrendered to God to play by His rules. And I absolutely do not expect Israel to sit back and do nothing, and to expect that from them right now would be wrong.

The other part of this is 2 Chronicles 7:14. “When My people, over whom My Name is called, humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their evil ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”
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I don’t believe this war is from God, but we know God works all things for good for those who love Him, who are called, according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). And I believe God will use this horrible mess for good. I believe He will use it to get the attention of those He’s calling; Israelis, Palestinians, and everyone else. Because one day every knee will bow and every tongue will declare that Jesus is The Lord of all. Philippians 2:10-11.

So what’s the answer? The answer is Jesus. There is no other answer outside of Him. And, until every knee bows and every tongue declares that, nothing is ever going to be right. There will be no peace.

Tithe Here? I Hardly Know Here

Let’s talk about tithes. I’m not going to post specific Bible verses to reference what tithes actually mean, because there are so many. Instead, I would encourage you to download the YouVersion Bible app, and do a search for “tithe” to see all of the verses that talk about it. But basically, it was a matter of you yourself partaking in 1/10th of whatever you had on your farm, whether it was plants or livestock or both. That a tithe meant you would take that 1/10th and go to a certain place and partake of it while communing with The Lord. And, if you couldn’t carry everything, you would sell it, and use the money to purchase whatever your heart desires.

Nowhere does it say that a tithe is giving 10% of your pre-taxed income to your congregation. Yet, most congregations will do their best to guilt you into doing so, especially if you’re a member. Many will even use Malachi 3:8:10, and say you’re robbing God if you don’t give 10% of your pre-taxed income to your congregation.

I stopped tithing to my most previous congregation quite a while before I left. The Rabbi watched me become homeless and told me I deserved it. And then two years later, asked me why I wasn’t tithing there anymore.

A lot of congregational leaders, at least in the Messianic movement, will treat people based on how much they tithe.

And none of this is Biblical.

I think you should share what you have. Absolutely. But you should be praying about where to give your offerings, and be releasing that money only where God wants you to do so.

You should also not be giving out of guilt and obligation, like most congregations make you feel.

The church I’m in now is the first time I’ve ever been in a congregation that I’ve never once heard ask for tithes. Probably because they know the common definition of tithes is not Biblically accurate.

Now I will say, it’s good to remember that your congregational leaders only get paid when money is given to the congregation. That’s how they pay their bills and take care of their families. If you are committed to your congregation, and you are where God wants you, you should absolutely be praying about how much to give to support your leaders.

But, again, we don’t do this out of guilt or obligation, but out of gladness to be able to bless others. After all, 2 Corinthians 9:7 says, “You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. For God loves a person who gives cheerfully.”

Don’t Let Your Left Hand See What Your Right Hand Posts on Instagram

“But when you give to someone in need, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. Give your gifts in private, and your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6‬:‭3‬-‭4‬ ‭

Gotta love all these congregations and ministries and people who claim to work for The Lord, posting all their good deeds on social media for all the world to see.

“Look at us!! We went to Feed My Starving Children today! Here are the pictures for proof!“

“Look at this video of me giving money to a homeless person!”

Or how about the mega church near where I live that posts all their charitable ministries on their website to show how much they help people, but then when you call for help, they tell you you have to become a member in order to receive help?

I get trying to inspire other people to do good deeds, either on their own or to join in on a group event. Believe me, I do. But if you say you follow The Bible, then actually follow The Bible.

The specific instructions are to do these things in private. 1) So it doesn’t look like you’re just doing it for attention and/or to make yourself look good and 2) So the person on the receiving end doesn’t feel embarrassed that they needed help to begin with.

When you donate to a GoFundMe, donate anonymously. Don’t post what you’re doing on social media or send out a newsletter showing off. No videos of you in the act.

Do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.

Matthew 18 as a Tool to Control

Matthew 18:15-17 gives specific instructions on how to handle a situation when you have an issue with someone.

Since this is Biblical instruction, it is highly encouraged to follow this in the Messianic movement. Unfortunately, since we have been conditioned to follow oral instructions, and not do our own research, it’s presented to us skewed, and as a way for leadership to have control over whatever the situation is.

What we are told is that if you have an issue with someone, you first speak privately to them about it. If they don’t listen, you then bring it to the Rabbi and/or Elders, and they will speak to the person(s) about it. At that point, they can decide if the person is not listening, and tell the congregation (or just the members) about it.

What it actually says is to first speak privately to the person about it. If they don’t listen, then come back with one or two people with you (it says absolutely nothing about the witnesses having to be in any kind of leadership position). Then, if they still don’t listen, YOU can share it with the community.

This passage gives the person with the issue authority to handle the situation in an orderly fashion. And it takes the pressure off of those in leadership roles to not have to be bothered or get involved with every single issue in the congregation. Which they shouldn’t have to! And we shouldn’t have to tell on people to leadership over every minor issue.

So not only are we misinformed and trusted to follow blindly, but then the leaders don’t even follow the steps of Matthew 18 themselves.

This weekend I was sent a mass e-mail from a Messianic/Messianic adjacent organization from another country announcing that they had fired their director as soon as they found out he made a choice they didn’t like. To fire someone ‘immediately’ (their words) means there was no one on one discussion. It seems they skipped over the first two steps of Matthew 18 and went straight to public shaming.

This Bible passage is meant to help create peace amongst brothers. If you follow it, it is helpful. If you twist it around or ignore it, that’s just going to exacerbate any situation. And it is meant to put the solution into our hands and not automatically hand everything over the leadership for them to be able to control it.

Warning: Remove Label

Christian? Messianic? Do these words matter? Are they interchangeable?

I do not identify as a Christian. To most people, the word Christian means a follower of Christ. To me, it means a Gentile who celebrates Christmas and Easter, doesn’t keep Kosher, doesn’t care about Shabbat, and probably treats other people like garbage in the name of Jesus. That doesn’t describe me, and I don’t want to be associated with that. I also don’t use the word “Christ,” unless I am explaining something, so when I think of Jesus, that’s not a word that even comes to mind.

I do not identify as Messianic. To most people, this word describes someone who’s Jewish and believes that Jesus is The Messiah/Son of God. To me, it is someone who is part of a very specific religion that I no longer associate with. I have separated myself from them, and don’t want to be affiliated with what they allow to happen in their world.

People get very angry at me when I don’t want either of those labels put on me. I don’t know why it has to be one or the other or either. Or why it makes people so upset. (I’m also neither Republican nor Democrat, and that upsets people as well).

What did Jesus’ disciples call themselves? Definitely not Christians. Probably not Messianics either.

I don’t have one word to describe myself/my religious views right now, so I’ve started telling non believers that I’m a Jewish follower of Jesus, and telling other believers that I’m a Jewish believer.

Names are important. Throughout the Bible, God has given His followers new names for new seasons. This confirms that chosen words/labels/names do matter.

Last summer I changed my Hebrew name. Jewish babies are given a Hebrew first and middle name for ceremonial purposes (Bar/Bat Mitzvah, wedding, being called to read from the Torah, etc). For boys this name is given when they are circumcised at eight days old, and for girls when they are dedicated in front of the congregation.

Normally a Hebrew name is chosen based off of the correlation of the meaning of the child’s legal name, or a name that starts with the same first letter. Sometimes they are named after deceased family members. My parents, however, opted to choose random names.

My given Hebrew name was Yael Mirit, and I always hated it. But last summer I decided to do something about it. Since it’s not a legal name, I prayed about it and felt it was okay to just change it and make an announcement on social media.

Yael is a woman from the book of Judges who drove a tent peg through some bad dude’s head.

Mirit is up for debate whether or not it’s a real name, but there are two possible meanings here.

1) The root of the name translates to “bitter.”

2) The name is allegedly in the Talmud (I say allegedly, because I don’t have any occasion to read said book), and is said to translate to “sweet wine.”

I have struggled with bitterness my entire life, and I want to break free from that. I also want nothing to do with the Talmud, and I don’t drink. So any way you slice it, I don’t feel this name suits me at this point in my life.

After praying about it, even though I always thought Yael was an ugly name, I felt I should keep this one. Yael was a badass for The Lord.

After praying for The Lord to show me a more suitable name for me, I changed my middle name to Hadassah, which was Queen Esther’s Hebrew name. Another badass for The Lord in a completely different way.

So now my Hebrew name is Yael Hadassah. I am named after two badasses for The Lord, as I can only strive to be one as well. I have peace about my Hebrew name for the first time in my life.